What Life Is Suppose To be?

It just occurred to me today, during my teaching session when i gazed at the cloudy sky and felt cool breeze of wind..

Time flies so fast.

I remembered the first time I was young, innocent and optimistic..
And times when I started my days in dating people, realizing that love could have deeper meaning than just words..
And times when I was still studying, waiting for the rain while sitting on a concrete bench beside the building..
And at my old boarding rooms, meeting new friends, learning to live together with strangers..
The first time I visited malls and went out to places here..
The times when I sat alone in a campus garden under a tree..

Can't believe it's been years..

And the strange thing is.. I recall that I was always alone at those times. Not physically, but emotionally. I always lost in own thoughts and imagination, withdrewing myself emotionally from everyone. Just sit on a quiet spot and observing, or pretending I was part of the conversation though the fact was I was not. All this years. I thought moving away, loosen up my worldly attachments, focusing in one goal at the time, all those would change things. I did change somehow, but not the "loneliness" part. In the end, I will always sit alone, observing people come and go through the streets of my life, sometimes crying over one or two of them, and then moving on.

Is life suppose to be that way? watching time flies by, and without realizing, we are already in some random points in our journey of life, questioning about what we had done before, recalling good memories and regretting the bad ones.. All alone? And no matter how high you put your purpose in life, in the end when it was achieved you will stop and wonder: "what will I do next?"

Is that what life suppose to be? Or it is not suppose to be that way? Then what is it then?

Please tell me.