Peut-ĂȘtre nous n'avons pas besoin d'amour. Peut-ĂȘtre c'est une aide que nous avons vraiment besoin (Maybe we don't need love after all. Maybe help it what we really need)

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Seminyak, Bali, Indonesia
Life is merely a journey to the grave, but to make the journey become a beautiful parade or a dark mourning ceremony is all in your hand.

About The Blog

nothing special. just a compilation of my feelings. feel free to read or use if it is not my own work (like song lyrics). stealing my own work will not give you any lawsuit, but please respect the owner by not taking any part of the content that is made by me without my acknowledgment and without putting my name on it. :]

January 31, 2017

After A Talk 2: Change and Experience

This morning a friend texted me, saying that he was moved by my old writings in this blog. He said that deep inside this fit and happy looking fellow, there are hardships and pain. This writing will be the second of what came to my mind after our brief conversation:

His remarks for this blog made me open up my old posts about myself here. I read many stories with different style of writing and theme and saw how I myself grew through my own respond. It feels like going through your old photos and see yourself slowly changing from a baby to an adult.

Then I found something out of my growth. I noticed I changed slowly from the dreamy guy with lots of imagination into a stoic, realistic bitter person with little interest in reading. This honestly freaked me out.

I was always a book lover. I read books simply because I need to read. It was like a habit to me to read and let my imagination go wild. I can read the whole LOTR Trilogy during weekend! Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire was done read in just one day! But now I'm just sitting here with an old book I'm struggling to finish for two years! (It's Murakami, Colorless Tsukuri Tazaki)

I am scared. I always deny that I'm approaching 30 because the fact that old people are not fun and interesting, but here I am unwillingly heading there. I physically train and dress up to look younger (and it works!) but I forgot that my mind is growing older too.

A friend told me that experience is paid by innocence and curiosity. We came to life with a bag full of innocence and slowly pay our experience by trading it with coins and coins of innocence. This kind of make sense because people who are not willing to be curious will never be able to purchase more experience (I am talking like we are going on a shopping here), but slowly with many experience we have, he will slowly lose our innocent side. We worry, be cautious, and slowly turning to a person with fear and precautions. We can no longer see life as adventurous and beautiful anymore; we start seeing life as dangerous.

Oh how I miss adventuring by the rain not fearing of getting sick and had to skip work the next day.