Peut-ĂȘtre nous n'avons pas besoin d'amour. Peut-ĂȘtre c'est une aide que nous avons vraiment besoin (Maybe we don't need love after all. Maybe help it what we really need)

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Seminyak, Bali, Indonesia
Life is merely a journey to the grave, but to make the journey become a beautiful parade or a dark mourning ceremony is all in your hand.

About The Blog

nothing special. just a compilation of my feelings. feel free to read or use if it is not my own work (like song lyrics). stealing my own work will not give you any lawsuit, but please respect the owner by not taking any part of the content that is made by me without my acknowledgment and without putting my name on it. :]

December 14, 2008

Rasa Yang Tersampaikan

Rasa Yang Tersampaikan
“So..this is it, huh?”

Nala terdiam menatap rel kosong di depannya. “Iya… Kita pisahan deh..”.

“Hahaha.. Kayak mau kemana aja! Kan kamu cuman pergi setahun, lagian Jogja deket aja ko!”

Nala tersenyum lemah. Apa dia akan bilang sekarang ya..?
“Um… Di jogja nanti bakal sepi.. Ga ada kamu..”

Damar sekali lagi tertawa. “Najis ah! Kayak apaan aja.. Di sana tuh pasti kamu bakal ketemu orang-orang baru, teman baru, sahabat baru. U’ll never be alone.”
“Hehe.. Iya..”. Nala lalu memalingkan pandangannya pada peron yang lengang.
Tanpa dia sadari, Damar menatapnya dalam-dalam.

Apa aku bilang sekarang ya? Tapi.. Kalau aku ditolak? Aduh…


“Damar? Duduk yuk, capek..”
“Hah? Oh.. I-iya…”.

Mereka berdua duduk di bangku di dekat pintu masuk peron. Keduanya membunuh waktu sembari bercanda dan bernostalgia tentang masa SMA mereka.. Saat satu kelompok dalam opspek, sama-sama terpilih jadi anggota OSIS, waktu Nala pingsan dan Damar susah payah menggendongnya ke UKS (“Kamu berat, La!” kata Damar yang dibalas dengan pukulan Nala saat dia mulai sadar), saat Nala menampar mantan pacar Damar yang ketahuan selingkuh (“Kamu itu bego ya! Kenapa si terima-terima aja dia selingkuh!” teriak Nala pada Damar waktu itu)…

Begitu banyak hal yang sudah mereka alami sejak SMA. Hubungan persahabatan mereka begitu erat bagaikan saudara. Hubungan itu pula yang menimbulkan ragu di dalam hati mereka. Apakah rasa ini benar cinta, atau cuma rasa sayang biasa yang menyaru sebagai cinta?

Tanpa sadar kereta yang dinanti telah tiba. Damar membantu Nala membawa tasnya ke dalam. Nala hanya sanggup menatap Damar dengan tatapan hampa. So it IS a goodbye, pikir Nala.

Dari kaca jendela Damar tersenyum pada Nala. Nala membalas senyumnya, lalu menyandarkan diri sambil menghela nafas. Seberkas rasa peneyesalan muncul entah darimana.

Damar terdiam. Kebimbangan hatinya makin besar. Sekarang atau tidak sama sekali. Tapi… Kalau ternyata memang cuma ilusi semata?

Will it be a goodbye…?

Damar tak sanggup berkata apapun saat perlahan kereta bergerak menjauh. Dia hanya sanggup menatap rentetan gerbong berkarat yang diselimuti asap itu bergerak menjauh.
Hatinya ingin berteriak. Kakinya ingin melangkah, namun sesuatu menghambatnya. Ragu, takut, sedih…

Shit! Daripada nyesel! Bodo ah! Guess it’s now or never!

Tiba-tiba detak jantungnya meningkat. Adrenalinnya mengalir deras. Perlahan kakinya melangkah, lalu berjalan, lalu berlari. Berlari dan terus berlari. Damar mengejar kereta itu.

“NALAAA! AKU SAYANG KAMUU!!!”

Nala yang tersadar dalam lamunannya segera menatap dari balik jendela kereta. Dia melihat Damar, pria yang selalu mengisi ruang kosong hatinya, sahabat karibnya yang diam-diam ia sayangi lebih dar apapun akhirnya menjawab panggilan jiwanya.. Dia tersenyum dan mencoba membalas Damar.

“AKU JUGA SAYANG KAMUUU!”

Perlahan Nala menutup wajahnya yang dibasahi air mata sambil menyandarkan punggungnya, diiringi sayup suara Damar.
Tanaganya telah habis. Dengan terengah-engah Damar menatap kereta itu menjauh. Namun Damar tersenyum.
Damar lalu meraih HPnya.

“…..”
“Halo? Nala?”

Di dalam gerbong Nala yang masih terharu mengangkat telepon itu.

“Damar?! Ngapain kamu lari-lari kaya gitu?! Bahaya tau!”
Damar ngakak diantara hela nafasnya yang berat. “Kamu ndiri ngapain nangis di gerbong? Malu tau!”
“Yeee… biarin!”

Mereka tertawa bersamaan.

“I love you..”, bisik Damar perlahan diantara hela nafasnya.

Nala terdiam sejenak. Sebulir airmatanya muncul lagi. “I love you too…”.

December 02, 2008

getting out of the comfort zone

hehehe..
posting pake bahasa inggris sekarang.

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every people in this world live to achieve one thing in their stage of life:
comfort.
they achieve that 'comfort' through a lot of ways, love, friendship, knowledge, money.. everything is possible.
when they actually ARE able to achieve it, they will build this border to form an imaginary place in their mind which contains that value of comfort, which is usually called as "The Comfort Zone".

people will feel 'comfort' in this imaginary place in their mind and eventually refuse to accept any change, which will be viewed by them as a threat to their comfort zone, and it will ruin the zone they made. people are so afraid that the border will be ruined and they will actually loose their feeling of comfortable.

this is the beginning of the group who refuse to change called the conformist.
this is proven bad because they literary refuse every single change, regardless the benefit of the changes. this way of thinking needs to be changed.

it's like closing our eyes of the reality and refuse to admit that the world is changing and we are still standing while everyone is running. It's like denying that someone IS smarter that us, it's like not admitting that there are people better than us, there are theories more valid that ours.

You just have to know that reality isn't so kind. Everything doesn't work out the way you want it to. and denying it by staying in the comfort zone doesn't change that fact.

I'm not being extremist by writing this,
honestly I'm now trapped in my own comfort zone.
You see..
I had this relationship with someone for awhile and we did broke up..
and up to know I'm still very scared of meeting that person.
I'm afraid of feeling pain again,
grieving for the lost love,
crying for the broken relationship.
I know that my act is lame,
but i am still not ready..
see? I'm trapped in my own comfort zone of being way from my past and if i step out of the border,
I'm scared of getting the pain like i was before,
but it doesn't change the fact that i will confront with my past sooner or later.
i can't just runaway..

I know my weakness and now i have to overcome it (the theory of reversed psychology. hehehehe).
so it's my time to have a little step out of the comfort zone and literary taste the real world.

December 01, 2008

Busy-Busy

been so busy lately..

with my swimming course,
my french class,
my drama,
and my task's at my college..

maav ya belum bisa nulis apa-apa yang bermutu..
yang pasti aku sebel banget ma hari ini..
kenapa selalu aja ada makhluk2 gemar back-stabbing di sekitarku?
hate them so much...
mentang2 aku ga kaya terus aku dikatain nyolong barangnya!
mana banku bocor lagi!
jiah..

ga baik dah persahabatan kaya ginian..

haha..

like i said,
hidup sendiri tu lebih baek..

niwei,

tadi dosen mengatakan sesuatu yang keren banget:

"art is about creating the truth"

kereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!!

hee..

gotta go!

hepi monday all!


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december 1, 2008
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