Peut-ĂȘtre nous n'avons pas besoin d'amour. Peut-ĂȘtre c'est une aide que nous avons vraiment besoin (Maybe we don't need love after all. Maybe help it what we really need)

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Seminyak, Bali, Indonesia
Life is merely a journey to the grave, but to make the journey become a beautiful parade or a dark mourning ceremony is all in your hand.

About The Blog

nothing special. just a compilation of my feelings. feel free to read or use if it is not my own work (like song lyrics). stealing my own work will not give you any lawsuit, but please respect the owner by not taking any part of the content that is made by me without my acknowledgment and without putting my name on it. :]

October 31, 2010

Coz I'm Elang

my first English language story - bout time eh? LOL 
enjoy! 


Coz I'm Elang - Karena Aku Elang

 tell me something about love..
something that brings the world a beauty,
something that soothes the pain of heart,
something that can not fade that easily.
-adi wicaksono, 2010-


"I'm going," I said slowly. She just smiled.

"Will you miss me?" she asked.

I nod weakly. not because i was sick, but because i was not certain about what i just approved.

"I will be rich, I'll build big home for us, I'll buy my dream car, I'll get everything I could only reach in my wildest dream."

She smiled. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Don't," I said. "Walk your path like what you used to do. Live your life without me."

"I can't."

"You have to. Don't wait for me. I... I don't know when I will be back."

She smiled. And suddenly she hugged me tightly.

"Elang, a bird that flies away, soaring the sky. That's what your name is."

"Yes. I am Elang, an eagle. My wings are meant to soar the sky, not to stay the ground."

She looked me deeply in the eyes. For a second I was stunned, but then I looked away.

She stepped back. "Elang?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

I didn't reply those words. The pain those words caused could tore every piece of my sanity away. So I walked away. Without a word.

And though i couldn't see it, I knew she cried behind me.

I'm sorry. I'm Elang. I'm gonna soar. Coz I'm Elang.



I'm Like a Bird - Nelly Furtado
 

You're beautiful, that's for sure
You'll never ever fade
You're lovely but it's not for sure
That I won't ever change
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true

[Chorus:]
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is
(and baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is , I don't know where my home is
All I need for you to know is

Your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after all these years
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me that well
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true

[Chorus:]
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is
(and baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is , I don't know where my home is
All I need for you to know is

It's not that I wanna say goodbye
It's just that every time you try to tell me that you love me
Each and every single day I know
I'm going to have to eventually give you away
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true
Hey I'm just scared
That we may fall through

[Chorus:]
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is
(and baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is , I don't know where my home is
All I need for you to know is


[Chorus:]
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is
(and baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is , I don't know where my home is
All I need for you to know is


[Chorus:]
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is
(and baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is , I don't know where my home is
All I need for you to know is...




tell me something about love..
something that gives you wings to fly,
something that ease your tears,
something that stays there till you die.
-adi wicaksono, 2010- 
 

October 10, 2010

May I tell You something, God?

May I tell You something, God?




God...
Since i was a child i never had what i desire.
i cant have my own guitar in music class coz im not rich.
I cant have extra lesson at school coz i can't afford it.
My dad never really there when i need it.
My family got broke.
my sisters are fired from their jobs at the same time.
one of them is sick,
the other has to work for feeding her two sons.
my friends hated me.
i never feel happy in my own house,
i never had true friends,
i never be able join my favorite extracurricular,
my dad died coz of blood cancer,
while spending most of the family money as the payment for treatment in 4 years,
i never pass any scholarship,
i never had a longer relationship than a year,
I cant enroll in my favorite university,
i cant even afford to buy my own cellphone.

God...
my mum said everything will be given by You when the time comes.
I tried to wait and follow Your order.
I believe someday You'll give me the chance.
I believe in You for years.

Yet the chance never came.

God,
I am tired.
I'm sorry, but I need to tell You now that i'm tired.

I won't blame You, God, for this hard time in finding the purpose of my life.
And I know that Your followers, and probably even You, will be so pissed off with this question.
but I just want to know when You will allow me to find it, coz it seems like You have made my journey hard these days in this year.

You gave me alot, life, breath, healthy body, sane mind, i know.
But what is it worthy for if in the end i live my life in this "uselessness" and this "inability"?

Forgive me, God, if it made You very upset.
I am desperate. I need Your help.

Please... Help me.






(no preaching comments please)