Peut-ĂȘtre nous n'avons pas besoin d'amour. Peut-ĂȘtre c'est une aide que nous avons vraiment besoin (Maybe we don't need love after all. Maybe help it what we really need)

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Seminyak, Bali, Indonesia
Life is merely a journey to the grave, but to make the journey become a beautiful parade or a dark mourning ceremony is all in your hand.

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nothing special. just a compilation of my feelings. feel free to read or use if it is not my own work (like song lyrics). stealing my own work will not give you any lawsuit, but please respect the owner by not taking any part of the content that is made by me without my acknowledgment and without putting my name on it. :]

November 03, 2012

Being Single and Keep Happy

Again, I received another wedding invitation from my friend. It was pretty strange, when you sat down on the chair against the window that display the whole life you have now, while reading through numerous wedding invitations. It seems like time just went pass you and left you there by yourself.

People always craved for "that plus one." You know, a figure that just fit into your cute little space that you always have in your heart, waiting for it to be completed. Yet, you wait and wait and wait, or hunt and hunt and hunt, then you find a particular puzzle piece, you try to stick it to the gap, and instead of fitting perfectly there, it leaves marks! And thus, the beginning of trauma and awareness begin. We then cruelly accused every pieces we find will leave marks and scratches, then disrespectfully treat them when we found something that might be a sign of flaw (little do you forget, you are also a puzzle pieces for others, and you might cause more scratches than those that happen to you).

But then sometimes, when we are so so desperate, scratches and wounds sometimes don't matter anymore, especially when you feel like the empty part of your heart starts giving pain. Yes, pain in mental and spiritual, and in some extend, sexual. Or... when people around you start to get annoyed because you still walking around with incomplete pieces of heart.

But why? Why people think completing the empty part of your heart will be the sign of the end of your endless misery of partner-hunting? Why people think that it is the only cure for the pain of loneliness that is caused from (again) that empty part of your heart, screaming desperately to be filled with the correct piece, or any piece that looks cute, hot, or rich?

One thing you have to remember: You are complete already. Never think that happiness come from someone else. Happiness comes within, from your heart. Yes, from that incomplete pieces of heart that you and people around you keep telling to complete it. You are complete already. Happiness don't come from dating someone. Happiness comes wherever and whenever you feel like enjoying it. And when dating series of people worn you up already, then you are not happy. If you are not happy, then why keep doing it?

Yes, it sounds very cliche, but so does looking for the perfect fit for your incomplete-but-actually-complete heart.

Point number two: Do Something Else. Disney princesses look beautiful while waiting for their Princes because they don't recognize the concept of wrinkles for main characters. The owner of Playboy literary sits there and has intercourse with any girls he wants because he has the money. You? Unless you are a cartoon characters that can't get old or you have so much money that girls just don't care if you are ugly and boring, it won't work on you. Do something! Find yourself something that occupies your time for craving for love! Do something cool! Go to the gym! Do sports! Take dancing lesson! Watch music concert! Make yourself valuable, then you won't be single for long. But! Do not ever do those things because of the wish that someday, somehow, you will be lucky to find the plus one lying around at the gym area or waiting beautifully outside your dancing studio. Because when you find out that they are not there, you will slowly losing interest towards fun things you do, then you will eventually stop doing it (which is bad), then you'll get lots and lots of time to crave for love again (which is even worse).

Just don't do something because you wish someone will eventually got attracted because of it. Do it because YOU LOVE IT.

Then after you feel happy about yourself, and you have lots of different things you do, sometimes you might slowly fall apart again. It can't be helped, it's just too non-mainstream to be single, and apparently everyone hates hipsters.

HOWEVER, never ever forget to See The Good Side of Being Single. Yes, that is the third point. You should notice the bold pattern by now. What's so good about being single? Well, A LOT. Imagine yourself free, you can aim the stars, study or travel as far as you go, learn new things, meet new people, learn new languages, hook up with people with different languages, fascinates yourself on how big and wonderful the world is outside your tiny little soap opera of tragedy corner, and eventually you will enjoy yourself. There are a lot of things you can achieve when you are single. There are more opportunities. More freedom. More happiness. Why stopping yourself with an unsure commitment, wishing that this particular person is your key to happiness, when you can step out and look and even taste the happiness yourself?

Seriously people, though the answer may varies, but I believe there are things you enjoy better when you are single. Admit it! And amplify it.

Then there you are. By stop seeing yourself as an incomplete and dull puzzle, doing something way much better than just pathetically crying for your not-so-pathetic love life (which you, pathetically, dramatize it), and stop seeing that being single is all about negative and instead embracing the positive side of it, you will surely be happy.

So, your choice. Wanna be happy? Then be happy!
Goodluck!


*One more thing: In the most desperate situation, Never Ever Accept and Compromise Anything. People rarely change after in relationship, and I believe you'd rather have someone who is at the same wavelength than trying so hard to readjust it.

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