Peut-ĂȘtre nous n'avons pas besoin d'amour. Peut-ĂȘtre c'est une aide que nous avons vraiment besoin (Maybe we don't need love after all. Maybe help it what we really need)

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Seminyak, Bali, Indonesia
Life is merely a journey to the grave, but to make the journey become a beautiful parade or a dark mourning ceremony is all in your hand.

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nothing special. just a compilation of my feelings. feel free to read or use if it is not my own work (like song lyrics). stealing my own work will not give you any lawsuit, but please respect the owner by not taking any part of the content that is made by me without my acknowledgment and without putting my name on it. :]

December 09, 2012

I have changed. A bit.

"You've changed," said my friend.

"What do you mean?"

"You no longer show some enthusiast when people flirt on you like you used to do. You didn't respond it like the way you used to do."

For a moment, there was only silence. I tried so hard not to say anything painful.

"I have changed."

"What do you mean?"

"I no longer find those youth ways of approach interesting. Cute nicknames, giggles, overly-attached relationship style, inappropriate I-miss-you text in a middle of the night, sulking over unnecessary things.. It's just not appealing to me anymore. I find the waiting game where one of us should text first in the name of dignity very mentally exhausting and time consuming. I don't see the act of indirect approach, like saying that you are no longer has meaning to me or that you are not in my league just to lure my sympathy as necessary. I see no purpose in attention-seeking behavior that is displayed simply because I am not interested any longer."


"Have you thought about marriage lately?"

"Huh? What do you mean? You're not thinking of getting married are you?"

"No, but I'm thinking of ending this purposeless connection. If I am to connect with anyone romantically, at least there will be a plan to bring our link to something more serious. I'm tired."

My friend didn't reply anything for awhile.

"I never thought of that actually," my friend replied.

"Maybe I am not suppose to think that far," I mumbled. "Maybe.. I should act like other 24 year old young man should do; drink beer, flirt and make out, or do some sex with some randoms."

"You have changed."

"I know. So I hope you understand."

"So.. What do you want then?"

"II want to be left alone, please."

"Ow. Alright. Sorry then. Maybe I should leave."

"I am the one who should say sorry. Hope you can find those who can fulfill your needs."

Then all was silent. Another heart got rejected.

Not because I look down upon them. Not because I couldn't move on from you. It's just that.. I'm not interested.

Ah well. Maybe I am just being insensitive.

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