Peut-ĂȘtre nous n'avons pas besoin d'amour. Peut-ĂȘtre c'est une aide que nous avons vraiment besoin (Maybe we don't need love after all. Maybe help it what we really need)

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Seminyak, Bali, Indonesia
Life is merely a journey to the grave, but to make the journey become a beautiful parade or a dark mourning ceremony is all in your hand.

About The Blog

nothing special. just a compilation of my feelings. feel free to read or use if it is not my own work (like song lyrics). stealing my own work will not give you any lawsuit, but please respect the owner by not taking any part of the content that is made by me without my acknowledgment and without putting my name on it. :]

February 07, 2013

A Fading Heartbeat.

I woke up this morning with emptiness. The air was cold and humid. My body reacted pretty "well"; I coughed several times trying to spit out some mucus out.

I stretched up a bit then looked around. An empty room, all white. Just a lil brown cupboard and light blue desk by the brown door. I walked and opened the door, letting some different more colors come into the picture. I stared at those different colors and things called scenery quietly as I recollected my pieces of consciousness, trying to remember things I must do today. Then you came across my mind. But then you're went away, and honestly, It left me confused.

We spent beautiful times back in Perth. We enjoyed the same Jazz music, laughed at the same sarcastic jokes. You have a gorgeous grey eyes, and you said my brown ones are also beautiful. I never stop complimenting how beautiful and cute you were, and you also couldn't stop craving for mine. We ate dinner together, I joined you shopping, you showed me different parts of the city.. You told me your dreams, and I showed you mine. We had laid our cards on the table, letting the other to see what's in us. And.. we promised that someday, we will meet again.

The memory was beautiful and I thought I was in love. I kept thinking about it, you and the feelings that grew strong as I left.

But why is it fading now? Like a beautiful red rose whose color slowly turned pale. An ugly corpse of a flower with some signs of fading and disintegrating in some parts. Like a falling petals of a dying rose, my feelings on you slowly fading away every day we stop seeing each other, crumbling away into dust. We tried talking and sharing our life through electronic mails, but we both slowly wrote less and less in every replies. I couldn't feel the urge to miss you any longer, and you also had slowly went away with your life. We tried desperately to keep the bond, to treasure it.. But as time goes by, I couldn't find the value of our memories any longer.

You sent me email the other day, telling me about your life and how you got upset when you had a date that didn't really go out that well the other night. And I felt nothing. No jealousy. No anger. No fear of losing. Instead I also shared some stories of how disappointed I was by people's attitude here in dating.

I didn't know how to react. Should I be upset? Or happy? Does it make me a bad guy? Or is it a good thing? I felt.. Nothing.

***

I took a deep breath while preparing myself for the day. I slowly watched you and the memories of you withered away in my sea of soul. I couldn't help it.

It is.. dead.


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