Peut-ĂȘtre nous n'avons pas besoin d'amour. Peut-ĂȘtre c'est une aide que nous avons vraiment besoin (Maybe we don't need love after all. Maybe help it what we really need)

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Seminyak, Bali, Indonesia
Life is merely a journey to the grave, but to make the journey become a beautiful parade or a dark mourning ceremony is all in your hand.

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nothing special. just a compilation of my feelings. feel free to read or use if it is not my own work (like song lyrics). stealing my own work will not give you any lawsuit, but please respect the owner by not taking any part of the content that is made by me without my acknowledgment and without putting my name on it. :]

December 26, 2013

The Empty Chair

I decided to go to the gym today, regardless of my after-recovery condition from flu and my sister's demand to join them to go for a quick vacation downtown. It's a bit too much for me with all of the crowds and people around. I need to recharge myself again with solidity.

I took my laptop with me to do some homework from my French class. It's quite strange to see the gym almost empty after being trapped in a traffic full of visitors outside the city trying to enjoy their year-end vacation here. Nevertheless, the gym went well. I only felt a slight drowsiness due to the recovery. After gym, I decided to go across the road to have a cup of hot tea and a portion of internet. The cafe was also empty, fortunately. I took my seat at the corner of the second floor, by the window, and enjoyed my hot tea while doing some homework.

Once in awhile, I looked out at the window, staring at the clouds drifting away by the wind. My mind floated away, recalling old memories with my mates while I was in my old town. We used to gather and talk after work till very late at nite. I kinda miss them now.

Then I looked at the chair in front of me. It was empty.

I somewhat felt bitterness and joy staring at that empty chair. The life of non string attached and solidity that I had chosen was okay, but it might have taken the toll out of me. I've had enough of exes that didn't fit the chair and eventually had to leave. I was so tired of seeing an unfit person sitting in front of me that I decided to put my bag on it, stopping others to try their luck.

 Yet meaningless strings also tiring and boring. Somehow, I wished for a person to fill that spot again. Somehow I wish someone can just take the bag and sit on the chair, smiling, and accompanies me whole nite long, talking about music, philosophy, history, sport, arts... whatever. I just wish someone could just sit there and surprise me with whatever they have.

But then I locked that thoughts away. I couldn't afford to hurt and be hurt again. The trial is over. The fun is done. I was too scared of needing a person just because I was lonely, not because I needed company. I didn't want to force it anymore.

So I returned to my homework and job, trying to rid the loneliness away at the corner by the window, with an empty chair accompanying me through the lazy afternoon.

Then suddenly someone lifted the bag and sat on the chair with a smile that somewhat sent a strange message within.

"Hey! Mind if I join in?"

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