Peut-ĂȘtre nous n'avons pas besoin d'amour. Peut-ĂȘtre c'est une aide que nous avons vraiment besoin (Maybe we don't need love after all. Maybe help it what we really need)

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Seminyak, Bali, Indonesia
Life is merely a journey to the grave, but to make the journey become a beautiful parade or a dark mourning ceremony is all in your hand.

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nothing special. just a compilation of my feelings. feel free to read or use if it is not my own work (like song lyrics). stealing my own work will not give you any lawsuit, but please respect the owner by not taking any part of the content that is made by me without my acknowledgment and without putting my name on it. :]

March 24, 2015

Another Trip To The Past

Our relationship wasn't the best one. You were kind, but very distant and none-expressive. While I was in love, but also demanding and selfish. You were stoic and unromantic, while I craved attention every single day. We sometimes spent the whole day fighting - or maybe, I was mad at you while you were trying to endure. When I think of it, I was your first boyfriend, but you seemed to have more experience than I did.

We hurted each other while discovering ourselves. You were so innocent that it made me angry all the time, but you were always there, willing to learn, willing to retry. And I might have dated many, but never have I learned so many from a single person like I have learned from you. You taught me compassion, patience, trust, maturity, all that made me what I am today. I am still learning though, 'cause if I am not then I won't still here, lingering to the memories of you.

I always admire your resilience and your perseverence. I remembered making you cry one night, and I was too selfish to admit that I was sad seeing you cry. And then like nothing had happened, you laughed and hugged me as if you fell in love for the first time again. I always silently fear and admire how strong you were, beneath that mysterious smile. I was too young to keep you, too dumb to appreciate you. And when I'm old enough, I was too late to have you here.

Maybe it was to hard for you that you finally want to break up. And again, I was too selfish to say no, to beg for you not to go. I wasn't strong enough to cry and hold you. Instead, I said yes and let you go.

It's funny how I have spent four years recovering from you, and keep failing to do so. Every time someone new come in, your criteria kicks in. The list of what I missed from you comes to my mind, and when this someone new fails to fulfil the deal, I would just throw it away. Maybe that's why I'm still single up to know, while making terrible decisions along the way.

I know maybe we could never get back together. I know that probably we should leave what's left from us as it is, knowing that probably you are happier without me, while I'm trying to be happy without you.

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